Why do we Un-compliment?

I was on the phone with a dear friend of twenty years. When we get on the phone together it’s hours of conversation that include laughter, deep thought, tears, and sisterhood. She is part of my tribe, and I am hers. As we brought our talk to a close, she paid me a sweet compliment that touched me deeply. But, that was not my first response. As she was describing her impressions of me, I began to withdraw them from her speech and dismiss everyone, “Oh, that’s not me”, “I am really not like that”, “You don’t know me”, “If you only knew”, “That’s not true”, denying every one of them as if she was a liar.

Why do we un-compliment? For some of us, it is an automatic response to kindness, affirmation, and positive feedback. When that complimenting tone or grateful attitude towards us begins to express itself our soul wounds rear up and shout “YOU DON’T DESERVE THIS!” Before others can finish their sentence we have dismissed every compliment by minimizing who we are, downgrading our worth, and denying the fruit of God’s work in our life. We have also robbed the giver of the blessing that comes from expressing genuine kindness towards others.

The Enemy, the father of lies, works through our woundedness to keep us trapped in our flesh. Remember, you no longer are ruled by your flesh. Rather, you are led by the Spirit who is a sweet reflection of God’s transformative work in every aspect of your being. That reflection, what others see in you, is directly correlated to the Holy Spirit, God’s Word, the redemptive power of Jesus Christ, and the righteousness of God that has justified you as a member of Heaven – His beloved child.

Sister, when others pay you a compliment it is an answer to prayer. Tell that condemning inner voice that you are not defined by your past, but are a new creation in Christ. Those kind words that affirm your new creation are confirmation of God’s good work in your life. Receive that blessing. Thank God for that fruit. And, thank the giver for the gift. You are significant.

2 Corinthians 3:18 TPT, “We can all draw close to him with the veil removed from our faces. And with no veil, we all become like mirrors who brightly reflect the glory of the Lord Jesus. We are being transfigured into his very image as we move from one brighter level of glory to another. And this glorious transfiguration comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.”